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 Some information would be appreciated.

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Posts : 8
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Join date : 2013-11-08
Location : New Jersey

PostSome information would be appreciated.

Alright, I'm not quite sure how to start this, or for that matter if this is even the correct place to post this. If it's not, please let me know. On another note, I apologize in advance for the verbosity and hyperbole that will no doubt follow.

So, to start, I'm not exactly new to this site. I've spent a fair amount of time researching the information present, although this is my inaugural post. The only thing on this site I have practiced so far has been the mediation techniques, but that doesn't mean I am without experience.  I have practiced psionics for several years to astonishing levels of success,  as well as practicing various systems of magical practices for the past several years, again with constant levels of success.

Something I only learned recently is that my mother's side of the family has done this for generations, I simply was never told or taught. But I fear I am getting away from myself.

The question pertinent to this post is about several experiences I've had, as well as if I am doing the meditation correctly. I suppose I should start with my experiences.  For the past few years I've been plagued with nightmares and insomnia resulting from the aforementioned nightmares. These range from the basic being chased to the more complex Lovecraftian horrors, all of which I should note were lucid. The specific dreams I have insofar been leading up to are ones that have only started shortly after my beginning to practice goetic magic.

In these dreams, various characters, most notably a small girl shrouded in light,  appear in my dreams, always to push me to do an act of darkness and rebellion, by which I mean acts such as revenge, retaliation, selfishness and lust, none of which I have a problem with.  As I probably should have mentioned earlier, I act extremely uncharacteristic in these dreams, being that I worry more about the morality of my actions rather then simply acting.

The most recent of these dreams involved my family and close friends turning against me because of the lies that my family had spread about me. They shunned me and beat me in this dream, which being lucid, I felt every blow of. Walking along the street at night, I met the shining girl. She knew everything about my predicament and told me how to solve it. The dream time lasted weeks, all the while the situation getting worse and worse and the girl instructing me to get vengeance and punish them for their actions. It ended with me torching the lot of them.

Now, I've had several dreams of this variety, all following the same lines but with different characters. Being the analytic psychology student that I am, coupled with my occult workings, I'm left amiss as to whether this is simply my cynicism and misanthropic nature leaking into my subconscious, or a visit from demonic entities? If anybody could answer that for me, I would be extremely appreciative.

And lastly, this will be the short part; the question of my meditations efficiency. What I do is envision myself in complete darkness. Not just the lights off, but being swarmed by pure liquid shadow. Due to my lack of access to either a cemetery or abandoned house coupled with my abundance of tupla creation experience, I figure this works fine, though please correct me if not. Anyway, I picture being swarmed by my greatest fears. Namely, cockaroaches eating out my eyes. I throw in anything else I find remotely creepy, but I focus mainly on those.

All the while, I absorb the fear into me until I feel confront from their presence.  While this happens, I also focus on all dark emotions I can produce. I focus on the thoughts of torturing those who have harmed me in unforgivable ways, taking away everything they hold dear and savoring their pain. I absorb this into me as well. By the time I finished, two hours had passed before I even noticed. I slept beautifully that night.

I would just like to know whether or not that method works, or if I misread the guide.

My gratitude towards those who read all of this, as well as to all who merely skimmed through. I, again, apologize for the length. I have a very hard time condensing my thoughts. It helped me immensely as a writer, but probably just bored the lot of you.

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Some information would be appreciated. :: Comments

Greetings Shattered Revlis,
good to meet you! Smile
I will see if I can help you shed some light on these experiences.
Firstly, the dream violence about your family/friends.
You have just found that your family has occult knowledge, which I assume means that they have conscious dealings and pacts with astral Beings of various sorts, but probably of a demonic or Djinn nature. This will directly affect you and means that you will also have pacts that have been formed without your conscious knowledge - it is very unusual for occult family pacts not to include all the generations as all for one packages are pretty standard. Now to my mind there are two ways of looking at the dream material, but only you can actually feel the truth of this. 1 is that you are subconsciously aware of these pacts and feel the pressure of these Beings, feel trapped, conned and cheated as these pacts are not your pacts and the Beings are on a deep level trying to press into you and mold you, which again is actually quite standard :/ 2 that you are actually very angry with your family on one level for this happening. It could also be a bit of both.
The child, again this may well be a part of you, a part that isn't restricted by moral codes and fettered, your shadow self, who is seeking revenge for the above feelings. It may also be a demon who is trying to cause disruption - a lot of demons thrive on controling you and causing chaos and disruption.
The way to deal with this is to actually firstly look at what the dream really means to you, be deeply honest, meditate and pathwork on it, follow your emotions. By allowing your emotions and fully accepting them you can actually start balancing and absorbing the shadow and darkness in your own soul. This will not only put you in the driving seat so that the dreams are a working out and problem solving rather than twisting your mind, but it will also make sure that there is no leverage for a demonic entity. Demons will control us through our shadows if we are not consciously working with the Demon and/or our shadow.
I am going to pm you as well with some more private material, but I hope this helps to get you started,
dark Blessings,

Thank you for your response, and likewise, it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance as well.

While I must admit that your hypothesis would make some sense, seeing as how even a joke about the summoning of entities scares my mother, I don't think that your theory would apply here. I only know that bloodline up to my grandmother, and both her and my mother are very new age with a type people, so I don't quite think that they would be making pacts with anything, spirits least of all.

However, we do come from the farmland of Puerto Rico, and they are some truly despicable people, so it wouldn't be entirely unlikely either. In the event that it proves true, how would I break this pact? Don't get me wrong, if there's a way to make it so that it benefits me, I'll take it in a heartbeat. But I don't like people making my choices for me. Doubly so if there nothing to gain.

Also, I fear I didn't make myself quite clear. When I said that I act differently in the dreams, I meant to elaborate by saying that I was restricted by these moral codes and creeds in the dreams, whereas in my waking hours I am not. It's more so like I am, in my dreams, the complete opposite of my normal self, and these beings are pushing me on the path to become as I already am. Nobody needs to drive me towards chaos or destruction. I've taken girls on first dates that consisted solely of chaos on destruction. I find them fun. It's order and love that bores me. Far too predictable. Chaos keeps you thinking.  

So, with that said, do you have any other theories as to what is going on? Don't think that I'm in denial of the demon idea, because I'm not. I'd find it interesting, and I do like interesting things. I simply want to explore all possibilities. If I have misunderstood anything you wrote, please let me know.

Hi SR, sorry for the delay - I didn't recieve my normal notification that this thread had been added to.
I will say that with regards to pacts, the pacts can go down generations. If there has been there still will be. My Grandmother was institutionalised because of demonic 'hauntings'. She was a devote Christian. When my mother, who had had serious demon problems after my Grandmothers death, died I found Demons and Djinn attached to various bits of her jewellery and had all hell break lose as they moved down the family line. Neither of these two women had made pacts - I found that the pacts had been made much earlier, but the magick and binding was in the line. The important thing really is to establish what the pacts are, what they entail and what they cost/give you. Demons are tricky so as you explore these areas, agree to NOTHING until a clear picture is formed, and even then take your time.
The you in dreams that is like a mirror reflection of the you in life - well the shadow isn't just bad. The Shadow is whatever we don't embrace about ourselves, light or dark. Say for instance that you have, during your teens, embarked on a more 'rebellious' ( aka fuck off kick ass fun...hehe! Wink) path, and then decided as you grew older that this is the path you were confortable with, then as you developed there would be the more 'moral' aspects that the growing you rejected in the shadow. This isn't to say that this is who you are, this is to say that that is the parts that you have rejected, but not made a 'peace' with. We are all 'angel and demon' in potential, however we, when human, chose a course of action that is more suited to the outcome we wish when we are are balance with all aspects. Often we can perform an action as a rejection of something else, rather than a choice. The fact that the shadow is speaking to you suggests that you are advanced enough to start looking at all areas, integrating and being master of all parts of yourself, which is actually something that few people are prepared to do.
To be honest, in your position I would meditate and pathwork on the dream on if I had 'demonic ties'. I would also work on lucid dreaming and astral projection as there is also the possiblity you are in a form on the astral - again also would encompass the shadow.
With regards to breaking pacts, I cam help you, but first you need to know what it is you are dealing with and whether you actually want to break them or rather re-negotiate if there are some...
I hope some of this helps, give me shout if you need anything,

Some information would be appreciated.

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