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Why do you want to be a Vampire? Icon_minitimeTue Jun 18, 2019 7:18 pm by Crow

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 Why do you want to be a Vampire?

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Uktena

Uktena

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PostSubject: Why do you want to be a Vampire?   Why do you want to be a Vampire? Icon_minitimeSun Mar 18, 2018 4:29 pm

Sure, vampires are badass creatures of the night- immortal predators that we fear and envy. The reasons for wanting to be one seem endless, from personal power to a closer relationship if your patron god is vampiric.

My reasoning is a bit complex. I've reincarnated plenty of times- every time you start over you have more initial knowledge and power than the last time, but there's still the fact you have to regain a lot. I'm quite tired of reincarnating- I feel it's time to try and take my destiny into my own hands and transcend the samsara cycles. Coupled with a less than desirable home life, I feel like vampirism could help me pave the way to the freedom that humanity simply can not provide.

That out of the way... why do you want to be a vampire? Let's get some back stories up and running! <3
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Crow

Crow

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PostSubject: Re: Why do you want to be a Vampire?   Why do you want to be a Vampire? Icon_minitimeSun Mar 18, 2018 8:00 pm

That takes me back. Started with a girl, I think, or maybe she was just there at the time. My passion for her was pretty consuming, and this was around while I was reading Dracula - too young to appreciate it, but it excited me so much. In her rejection, I guess I kinda sought out perfection in other ways - first time I really considered 'magick' to be an option, and this obsession has been with me ever since.

It isn't just power and beauty though, it's the whole predatory dynamic - you must suffer so that I can improve. It's alchemical, although I'm only just realising it. Even when it comes to videogames, if I have even the slightest option for lifedrain, I'll take it no matter how objectively useless. Profiting from domination. Technically, my fetish functions on a very similar level, so my affection for 'vampirism' as such goes back to age two or three.

In some ways, it's always about love; I'll fall for the ones with the dark hair and the sharp eyes, the ones who look like they might hurt, because there's nothing more beautiful than finding another monster.


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ALLMEMBERSIGNOREMYPOSTS



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PostSubject: Re: Why do you want to be a Vampire?   Why do you want to be a Vampire? Icon_minitimeSun Mar 18, 2018 8:21 pm

.


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Detralmus

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PostSubject: .:. in short   Why do you want to be a Vampire? Icon_minitimeMon Mar 19, 2018 5:11 pm

To make it easier or at all possible for me to progress in magic.

Time to do magic.



in 2013, i saw my future self in a tram -it was no dream, it was this very plane.
And i felt stunned, i stared at what i would become. I could only stare, bite my lip and speak the only word, which was in my frozen mind: "vampire"

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Vampire Soul Otho

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PostSubject: Re: Why do you want to be a Vampire?   Why do you want to be a Vampire? Icon_minitimeMon May 20, 2019 4:03 am

i had an answer , a long one, then it got lost...

perhaps that is fate telling me to not speak so long , so i will not speak much lol

my Soul was born Vampire,  but my current physical body is not Vampire.

To become , physically Vampire, would be to actually Live again.  Instead of trying to live.

I have been away a long time, and i am unsure when i will return here.

The more time goes by without becoming fully Vampire, the more the hope of becoming fades away.   Though the heart and Soul, always shall be.  


i will be silent again, and fade away into the night once more, into hopeful dreams of life as a Vampire, in hopes to Live again, forever more.\

If anyone sends me a pm, please do not think i am being rude if i take a long time to reply,  i am unsure when i will return here, because of daily depression of being stuck in a life that is not living truly.   Yet is just surviving.  

Yet i hope You are all Good.

Peace.
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Sadhna Sharma*

Sadhna Sharma*

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PostSubject: Re: Why do you want to be a Vampire?   Why do you want to be a Vampire? Icon_minitimeTue May 28, 2019 2:46 pm

Peaceseeker wrote:
i had an answer , a long one, then it got lost...

perhaps that is fate telling me to not speak so long , so i will not speak much lol

my Soul was born Vampire,  but my current physical body is not Vampire.

To become , physically Vampire, would be to actually Live again.  Instead of trying to live.

I have been away a long time, and i am unsure when i will return here.

The more time goes by without becoming fully Vampire, the more the hope of becoming fades away.   Though the heart and Soul, always shall be.  


i will be silent again, and fade away into the night once more, into hopeful dreams of life as a Vampire, in hopes to Live again, forever more.\

If anyone sends me a pm, please do not think i am being rude if i take a long time to reply,  i am unsure when i will return here, because of daily depression of being stuck in a life that is not living truly.   Yet is just surviving.  

Yet i hope You are all Good.

Peace.

Sent from Topic'it App
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Sadhna Sharma*

Sadhna Sharma*

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PostSubject: Re: Why do you want to be a Vampire?   Why do you want to be a Vampire? Icon_minitimeTue May 28, 2019 2:50 pm

Dude I feel you. I mean I know how this depression thing works but first you have to be sure if there is something wrong with your mind or your Soul.

Maybe things will get better for you if you'll become a vampire but if it's your soul.. Well then you are doomed for eternity.

It's been months since I've opened this forum bcuz I disappeared too. You know at some point you feel so drained and all you wanna do is to run away or die. So that's when you decide to "disappear" and head your wounded nd rottening soul.

Sent from Topic'it App
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samwelsey



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PostSubject: Re:   Why do you want to be a Vampire? Icon_minitimeTue May 28, 2019 9:37 pm

Sadhna Sharma* wrote:
Dude I feel you. I mean I know how this depression thing works but first you have to be sure if there is something wrong with your mind or your Soul.

Maybe things will get better for you if you'll become a vampire but if it's your soul.. Well then you are doomed for eternity.

It's been months since I've opened this forum bcuz I disappeared too. You know at some point you feel so drained and all you wanna do is to run away or die. So that's when you decide to "disappear" and head your wounded nd rottening soul.

Sent from Topic'it App




Correct me if I'm wrong;

1) Parents don't love you and see you for who you really are.
2) People around you don't understand your true inner emotions.
3) Have to walk with a mask around your friends, hiding your inner demons.
4) Have been betrayed by everyone in the past.
5) Have had your heart broken and shattered into many pieces before by everyone you ever loved.
6) No hope for love or a meaningful life in the future.
7) Feels like everything you touch, is ruined forever.
8 ) Want to run away or disappear all the time.
9) Drowning yourself in drugs, psychedelics, alcohol or smoke is the only time you feel free.
10) Feels like you've been specially chosen by some higher power to be tortured for the rest of your life.
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Sadhna Sharma*

Sadhna Sharma*

Posts : 27
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Age : 19

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PostSubject: Re: Why do you want to be a Vampire?   Why do you want to be a Vampire? Icon_minitimeTue May 28, 2019 11:10 pm

samwelsey wrote:
Sadhna Sharma* wrote:
Dude I feel you. I mean I know how this depression thing works but first you have to be sure if there is something wrong with your mind or your Soul.

Maybe things will get better for you if you'll become a vampire but if it's your soul.. Well then you are doomed for eternity.

It's been months since I've opened this forum bcuz I disappeared too. You know at some point you feel so drained and all you wanna do is to run away or die. So that's when you decide to "disappear" and head your wounded nd rottening soul.





Correct me if I'm wrong;

1) Parents don't love you and see you for who you really are.
2) People around you don't understand your true inner emotions.
3) Have to walk with a mask around your friends, hiding your inner demons.
4) Have been betrayed by everyone in the past.
5) Have had your heart broken and shattered into many pieces before by everyone you ever loved.
6) No hope for love or a meaningful life in the future.
7) Feels like everything you touch, is ruined forever.
8 ) Want to run away or disappear all the time.
9) Drowning yourself in drugs, psychedelics, alcohol or smoke is the only time you feel free.
10) Feels like you've been specially chosen by some higher power to be tortured for the rest of your life.


Okay wait.. this is so fuckin accurate. Lool. How do you know? I mean that's exactly what I'm going through.

It sucks when you ruin everything you touch. It's like you curse everyone and everything around you and you can't help it. Idk if I'm chosen by so higher power.. and I honestly don't care.

And yes.. everyone in your life abandons you. They will just walk away. So yea it's like you're walking down this cold pitch black tunnel all alone.
You want to run away.. you wanna disappear but you can't bcuz you're surrounded by these judgemental Humans.. so all you can think about is "death". The only way to end your suffering.

About doing drugs.. well I'm going through this shitty phase. We know that all these drugs nd mind numbing antidepressants are not a permanent solution.. but you just can't help it. They make you feel so good.. it's feels so good when you can temporarily escape reality. But ultimately these drugs n shit will make things worse.. bcuz these antidepressants n drugs well they can't heal your "soul".

At this point you're tired of pretending bcuz noone around you understands you. You can't be yourself so all you gotta do is to pretend to be one of them.

Sent from Topic'it App
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samwelsey



Posts : 6
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PostSubject: Re:   Why do you want to be a Vampire? Icon_minitimeWed May 29, 2019 1:06 am

Sadhna Sharma* wrote:
samwelsey wrote:
Sadhna Sharma* wrote:
Dude I feel you. I mean I know how this depression thing works but first you have to be sure if there is something wrong with your mind or your Soul.

Maybe things will get better for you if you'll become a vampire but if it's your soul.. Well then you are doomed for eternity.

It's been months since I've opened this forum bcuz I disappeared too. You know at some point you feel so drained and all you wanna do is to run away or die. So that's when you decide to "disappear" and head your wounded nd rottening soul.








Correct me if I'm wrong;

1) Parents don't love you and see you for who you really are.
2) People around you don't understand your true inner emotions.
3) Have to walk with a mask around your friends, hiding your inner demons.
4) Have been betrayed by everyone in the past.
5) Have had your heart broken and shattered into many pieces before by everyone you ever loved.
6) No hope for love or a meaningful life in the future.
7) Feels like everything you touch, is ruined forever.
8 ) Want to run away or disappear all the time.
9) Drowning yourself in drugs, psychedelics, alcohol or smoke is the only time you feel free.
10) Feels like you've been specially chosen by some higher power to be tortured for the rest of your life.


Okay wait.. this is so fuckin accurate. Lool. How do you know? I mean that's exactly what I'm going through.

It sucks when you ruin everything you touch. It's like you curse everyone and everything around you and you can't help it. Idk if I'm chosen by so higher power.. and I honestly don't care.

And yes.. everyone in your life abandons you. They will just walk away. So yea it's like you're walking down this cold pitch black tunnel all alone.
You want to run away.. you wanna disappear but you can't bcuz you're surrounded by these judgemental Humans.. so all you can think about is "death". The only way to end your suffering.

About doing drugs.. well I'm going through this shitty phase. We know that all these drugs nd mind numbing antidepressants are not a permanent solution.. but you just can't help it. They make you feel so good.. it's feels so good when you can temporarily escape reality. But ultimately these drugs n shit will make things worse.. bcuz these antidepressants n drugs well they can't heal your "soul".

At this point you're tired of pretending bcuz noone around you understands you. You can't be yourself so all you gotta do is to pretend to be one of them.

Sent from Topic'it App




Congratulations, you’re officially a part of the human community where more than 60% of teens of your age suffer from the same anxiety everyday of their lives.
If that sums up your life, then let me break it down for you. Life is not peachy and apple pie everyday. Life is hard. Unless you’re exceptionally fortunate with a privileged life, you’re definitely going to suffer eventually. If you can face the truth and accept the life for what it is, you can probably find  a way to keep on keeping on. But if you start believing that you’re cursed, then sorry honey, nothing is ever going to be fixed; and not because of a curse, but because you’re preventing it.


A wise man once said,
“Those who want to live, let them fight; and those who do not want to fight in this world of eternal struggle, do not deserve to live.”

The second part could be a little harsh but the first one still holds its grounds.

Most part of my life, if I walk into a room with 5 people, 2 of them would be going through the exact same dilemma as you just described; where a person thinks they are cursed. Believe me, you’re not. You don’t even know what a curse is. If you did, you would know better what it actually means when you say “my soul is cursed”.
Do you even know what happens when someone curses your soul? Your mind and body gets disconnected, your entire conscious gets disoriented, you’re hysterically in a state where you don’t even remember how to breath. If someone cursed your soul, you won’t stay alive for more than a week, and what comes after death is something your mind can not even fathom.

A lot of people don’t want to admit it, because of either denial or some issue with their self image, but deep down countless people feels like they are cursed. Even the most stubborn souls who are stone cold as a rock, when you get them to open up, they would tell you that they feel cursed (at some or else most part of their lives).

Now someone is either gonna fight through that feeling everyday and eventually gonna realize that it’s just a part of everyone’s life and hence accept the bitter truth and finally start living their lives; or else someone can just keep whining everyday and blame some cursed life or “cursed soul” and stay that way forever.

The only problem in your life is in your head, created by you. You’re responsible for your own actions. Every good and bad thing that comes along with it, it’s just a part of the life. There is no magical curse putting you down. And no your soul is not cursed. You’re just another teenager who is having a hard time accept life for what it is.

Believe me I know, because I have cursed souls before and I know what happens when a soul is cursed. And this whole thing, is not even close.

Every problem and every solution in your life, starts with you and ends with you. You’re not dark, you’re not cursed, you’re not misfortunate, you’re not some special individual who is subjected to the cruel brutality of this life; you’re just you. Only way to break your so called made-up “curse” is to start controlling your thoughts. It’s all about human mind.

The key lies above your heads; whether you want to live, break your “curse”, or for anyone who wants to rise above, it all starts at controlling your own mind. So stop blaming curses; curses can do more damage than you can imagine.

And in case you’re wondering how I knew about you and the way how you feel; well guess what? I didn’t. I bluffed. It’s more like a psychological delusion that everyone believes in. Ask these 10 questions to a group of random people who are feeling down in their life and they will tell you the exact same thing. It’s a self defense mechanism of mortal mind. Not even close to a curse.


And I say my words with such a conviction because I’ve been professionally trained on dealing with emotionally fucked up immortals. Mortal life is not as complicated as you believe to think.



You can’t be helped, if you don’t want to be.
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Sadhna Sharma*

Sadhna Sharma*

Posts : 27
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Join date : 2017-06-20
Age : 19

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PostSubject: Re: Why do you want to be a Vampire?   Why do you want to be a Vampire? Icon_minitimeWed May 29, 2019 1:45 am

samwelsey wrote:
Sadhna Sharma* wrote:
samwelsey wrote:
Sadhna Sharma* wrote:
Dude I feel you. I mean I know how this depression thing works but first you have to be sure if there is something wrong with your mind or your Soul.

Maybe things will get better for you if you'll become a vampire but if it's your soul.. Well then you are doomed for eternity.

It's been months since I've opened this forum bcuz I disappeared too. You know at some point you feel so drained and all you wanna do is to run away or die. So that's when you decide to "disappear" and head your wounded nd rottening soul.








Correct me if I'm wrong;

1) Parents don't love you and see you for who you really are.
2) People around you don't understand your true inner emotions.
3) Have to walk with a mask around your friends, hiding your inner demons.
4) Have been betrayed by everyone in the past.
5) Have had your heart broken and shattered into many pieces before by everyone you ever loved.
6) No hope for love or a meaningful life in the future.
7) Feels like everything you touch, is ruined forever.
8 ) Want to run away or disappear all the time.
9) Drowning yourself in drugs, psychedelics, alcohol or smoke is the only time you feel free.
10) Feels like you've been specially chosen by some higher power to be tortured for the rest of your life.


Okay wait.. this is so fuckin accurate. Lool. How do you know? I mean that's exactly what I'm going through.

It sucks when you ruin everything you touch. It's like you curse everyone and everything around you and you can't help it. Idk if I'm chosen by so higher power.. and I honestly don't care.

And yes.. everyone in your life abandons you. They will just walk away. So yea it's like you're walking down this cold pitch black tunnel all alone.
You want to run away.. you wanna disappear but you can't bcuz you're surrounded by these judgemental Humans.. so all you can think about is "death". The only way to end your suffering.

About doing drugs.. well I'm going through this shitty phase. We know that all these drugs nd mind numbing antidepressants are not a permanent solution.. but you just can't help it. They make you feel so good.. it's feels so good when you can temporarily escape reality. But ultimately these drugs n shit will make things worse.. bcuz these antidepressants n drugs well they can't heal your "soul".

At this point you're tired of pretending bcuz noone around you understands you. You can't be yourself so all you gotta do is to pretend to be one of them.





Congratulations, you’re officially a part of the human community where more than 60% of teens of your age suffer from the same anxiety everyday of their lives.
If that sums up your life, then let me break it down for you. Life is not peachy and apple pie everyday. Life is hard. Unless you’re exceptionally fortunate with a privileged life, you’re definitely going to suffer eventually. If you can face the truth and accept the life for what it is, you can probably find  a way to keep on keeping on. But if you start believing that you’re cursed, then sorry honey, nothing is ever going to be fixed; and not because of a curse, but because you’re preventing it.


A wise man once said,
“Those who want to live, let them fight; and those who do not want to fight in this world of eternal struggle, do not deserve to live.”

The second part could be a little harsh but the first one still holds its grounds.

Most part of my life, if I walk into a room with 5 people, 2 of them would be going through the exact same dilemma as you just described; where a person thinks they are cursed. Believe me, you’re not. You don’t even know what a curse is. If you did, you would know better what it actually means when you say “my soul is cursed”.
Do you even know what happens when someone curses your soul? Your mind and body gets disconnected, your entire conscious gets disoriented, you’re hysterically in a state where you don’t even remember how to breath. If someone cursed your soul, you won’t stay alive for more than a week, and what comes after death is something your mind can not even fathom.

A lot of people don’t want to admit it, because of either denial or some issue with their self image, but deep down countless people feels like they are cursed. Even the most stubborn souls who are stone cold as a rock, when you get them to open up, they would tell you that they feel cursed (at some or else most part of their lives).

Now someone is either gonna fight through that feeling everyday and eventually gonna realize that it’s just a part of everyone’s life and hence accept the bitter truth and finally start living their lives; or else someone can just keep whining everyday and blame some cursed life or “cursed soul” and stay that way forever.

The only problem in your life is in your head, created by you. You’re responsible for your own actions. Every good and bad thing that comes along with it, it’s just a part of the life. There is no magical curse putting you down. And no your soul is not cursed. You’re just another teenager who is having a hard time accept life for what it is.

Believe me I know, because I have cursed souls before and I know what happens when a soul is cursed. And this whole thing, is not even close.

Every problem and every solution in your life, starts with you and ends with you. You’re not dark, you’re not cursed, you’re not misfortunate, you’re not some special individual who is subjected to the cruel brutality of this life; you’re just you. Only way to break your so called made-up “curse” is to start controlling your thoughts. It’s all about human mind.

The key lies above your heads; whether you want to live, break your “curse”, or for anyone who wants to rise above, it all starts at controlling your own mind. So stop blaming curses; curses can do more damage than you can imagine.

And in case you’re wondering how I knew about you and the way how you feel; well guess what? I didn’t. I bluffed. It’s more like a psychological delusion that everyone believes in. Ask these 10 questions to a group of random people who are feeling down in their life and they will tell you the exact same thing. It’s a self defense mechanism of mortal mind. Not even close to a curse.


And I say my words with such a conviction because I’ve been professionally trained on dealing with emotionally fucked up immortals. Mortal life is not as complicated as you believe to think.



You can’t be helped, if you don’t want to be.



Lool and u think I'm a teenager who's mind is fucked up? Well Guess what.. I feel all this shit since I was a kid.
I always felt empty.
I tried therapy nd stuff but nothing worked.

And well about putting up a fight.. at this point I'm drained. I'm so tired but still I'm Trying my best to fight my Demons.
I can't perish. Not now.
But you said other teenagers will agree with you and.. you know I have lots of friends nd none of em is like me.
Sometimes I envy them tbh.

And Maybe you're right. Maybe it's all inside my head but you know.. I've attended therapy sessions and nothing worked so I don't know.

Sent from Topic'it App
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lukasondris



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PostSubject: Re: Why do you want to be a Vampire?   Why do you want to be a Vampire? Icon_minitimeWed May 29, 2019 7:05 am

Sadhna Sharma* wrote:
samwelsey wrote:
Sadhna Sharma* wrote:
samwelsey wrote:
Sadhna Sharma* wrote:
Dude I feel you. I mean I know how this depression thing works but first you have to be sure if there is something wrong with your mind or your Soul.

Maybe things will get better for you if you'll become a vampire but if it's your soul.. Well then you are doomed for eternity.

It's been months since I've opened this forum bcuz I disappeared too. You know at some point you feel so drained and all you wanna do is to run away or die. So that's when you decide to "disappear" and head your wounded nd rottening soul.








Correct me if I'm wrong;

1) Parents don't love you and see you for who you really are.
2) People around you don't understand your true inner emotions.
3) Have to walk with a mask around your friends, hiding your inner demons.
4) Have been betrayed by everyone in the past.
5) Have had your heart broken and shattered into many pieces before by everyone you ever loved.
6) No hope for love or a meaningful life in the future.
7) Feels like everything you touch, is ruined forever.
8 ) Want to run away or disappear all the time.
9) Drowning yourself in drugs, psychedelics, alcohol or smoke is the only time you feel free.
10) Feels like you've been specially chosen by some higher power to be tortured for the rest of your life.


Okay wait.. this is so fuckin accurate. Lool. How do you know? I mean that's exactly what I'm going through.

It sucks when you ruin everything you touch. It's like you curse everyone and everything around you and you can't help it. Idk if I'm chosen by so higher power.. and I honestly don't care.

And yes.. everyone in your life abandons you. They will just walk away. So yea it's like you're walking down this cold pitch black tunnel all alone.
You want to run away.. you wanna disappear but you can't bcuz you're surrounded by these judgemental Humans.. so all you can think about is "death". The only way to end your suffering.

About doing drugs.. well I'm going through this shitty phase. We know that all these drugs nd mind numbing antidepressants are not a permanent solution.. but you just can't help it. They make you feel so good.. it's feels so good when you can temporarily escape reality. But ultimately these drugs n shit will make things worse.. bcuz these antidepressants n drugs well they can't heal your "soul".

At this point you're tired of pretending bcuz noone around you understands you. You can't be yourself so all you gotta do is to pretend to be one of them.





Congratulations, you’re officially a part of the human community where more than 60% of teens of your age suffer from the same anxiety everyday of their lives.
If that sums up your life, then let me break it down for you. Life is not peachy and apple pie everyday. Life is hard. Unless you’re exceptionally fortunate with a privileged life, you’re definitely going to suffer eventually. If you can face the truth and accept the life for what it is, you can probably find  a way to keep on keeping on. But if you start believing that you’re cursed, then sorry honey, nothing is ever going to be fixed; and not because of a curse, but because you’re preventing it.


A wise man once said,
“Those who want to live, let them fight; and those who do not want to fight in this world of eternal struggle, do not deserve to live.”

The second part could be a little harsh but the first one still holds its grounds.

Most part of my life, if I walk into a room with 5 people, 2 of them would be going through the exact same dilemma as you just described; where a person thinks they are cursed. Believe me, you’re not. You don’t even know what a curse is. If you did, you would know better what it actually means when you say “my soul is cursed”.
Do you even know what happens when someone curses your soul? Your mind and body gets disconnected, your entire conscious gets disoriented, you’re hysterically in a state where you don’t even remember how to breath. If someone cursed your soul, you won’t stay alive for more than a week, and what comes after death is something your mind can not even fathom.

A lot of people don’t want to admit it, because of either denial or some issue with their self image, but deep down countless people feels like they are cursed. Even the most stubborn souls who are stone cold as a rock, when you get them to open up, they would tell you that they feel cursed (at some or else most part of their lives).

Now someone is either gonna fight through that feeling everyday and eventually gonna realize that it’s just a part of everyone’s life and hence accept the bitter truth and finally start living their lives; or else someone can just keep whining everyday and blame some cursed life or “cursed soul” and stay that way forever.

The only problem in your life is in your head, created by you. You’re responsible for your own actions. Every good and bad thing that comes along with it, it’s just a part of the life. There is no magical curse putting you down. And no your soul is not cursed. You’re just another teenager who is having a hard time accept life for what it is.

Believe me I know, because I have cursed souls before and I know what happens when a soul is cursed. And this whole thing, is not even close.

Every problem and every solution in your life, starts with you and ends with you. You’re not dark, you’re not cursed, you’re not misfortunate, you’re not some special individual who is subjected to the cruel brutality of this life; you’re just you. Only way to break your so called made-up “curse” is to start controlling your thoughts. It’s all about human mind.

The key lies above your heads; whether you want to live, break your “curse”, or for anyone who wants to rise above, it all starts at controlling your own mind. So stop blaming curses; curses can do more damage than you can imagine.

And in case you’re wondering how I knew about you and the way how you feel; well guess what? I didn’t. I bluffed. It’s more like a psychological delusion that everyone believes in. Ask these 10 questions to a group of random people who are feeling down in their life and they will tell you the exact same thing. It’s a self defense mechanism of mortal mind. Not even close to a curse.


And I say my words with such a conviction because I’ve been professionally trained on dealing with emotionally fucked up immortals. Mortal life is not as complicated as you believe to think.



You can’t be helped, if you don’t want to be.



Lool and u think I'm a teenager who's mind is fucked up? Well Guess what.. I feel all this shit since I was a kid.
I always felt empty.
I tried therapy nd stuff but nothing worked.

And well about putting up a fight.. at this point I'm drained. I'm so tired but still I'm Trying my best to fight my Demons.
I can't perish. Not now.
But you said other teenagers will agree with you and.. you know I have lots of friends nd none of em is like me.
Sometimes I envy them tbh.

And Maybe you're right. Maybe it's all inside my head but you know.. I've attended therapy sessions and nothing worked so I don't know.

Sent from Topic'it App

Therapy might help one's mentality, but it does nothing to address the real cause of the problem, which is on the more sublime chakra/energetic part of oneself. Such can be treated either with Chinese medicine or Ayurveda (count with months for effectivity here along with lifestyle changes though) along with spiritual healing with chakra opening/empowering and also working with the runes like wunjo/ansuz.

Also offering my personal experience, drugs really put one down. I successfully quit them after an overdosing accident over a year ago and I can say that I feel much better without them and following a healthy lifestyle and just redoing chakra openings.
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PostSubject: Re: Why do you want to be a Vampire?   Why do you want to be a Vampire? Icon_minitimeWed May 29, 2019 5:12 pm

lukasondris wrote:
Sadhna Sharma* wrote:
samwelsey wrote:
Sadhna Sharma* wrote:
samwelsey wrote:
Sadhna Sharma* wrote:
Dude I feel you. I mean I know how this depression thing works but first you have to be sure if there is something wrong with your mind or your Soul.

Maybe things will get better for you if you'll become a vampire but if it's your soul.. Well then you are doomed for eternity.

It's been months since I've opened this forum bcuz I disappeared too. You know at some point you feel so drained and all you wanna do is to run away or die. So that's when you decide to "disappear" and head your wounded nd rottening soul.








Correct me if I'm wrong;

1) Parents don't love you and see you for who you really are.
2) People around you don't understand your true inner emotions.
3) Have to walk with a mask around your friends, hiding your inner demons.
4) Have been betrayed by everyone in the past.
5) Have had your heart broken and shattered into many pieces before by everyone you ever loved.
6) No hope for love or a meaningful life in the future.
7) Feels like everything you touch, is ruined forever.
8 ) Want to run away or disappear all the time.
9) Drowning yourself in drugs, psychedelics, alcohol or smoke is the only time you feel free.
10) Feels like you've been specially chosen by some higher power to be tortured for the rest of your life.


Okay wait.. this is so fuckin accurate. Lool. How do you know? I mean that's exactly what I'm going through.

It sucks when you ruin everything you touch. It's like you curse everyone and everything around you and you can't help it. Idk if I'm chosen by so higher power.. and I honestly don't care.

And yes.. everyone in your life abandons you. They will just walk away. So yea it's like you're walking down this cold pitch black tunnel all alone.
You want to run away.. you wanna disappear but you can't bcuz you're surrounded by these judgemental Humans.. so all you can think about is "death". The only way to end your suffering.

About doing drugs.. well I'm going through this shitty phase. We know that all these drugs nd mind numbing antidepressants are not a permanent solution.. but you just can't help it. They make you feel so good.. it's feels so good when you can temporarily escape reality. But ultimately these drugs n shit will make things worse.. bcuz these antidepressants n drugs well they can't heal your "soul".

At this point you're tired of pretending bcuz noone around you understands you. You can't be yourself so all you gotta do is to pretend to be one of them.





Congratulations, you’re officially a part of the human community where more than 60% of teens of your age suffer from the same anxiety everyday of their lives.
If that sums up your life, then let me break it down for you. Life is not peachy and apple pie everyday. Life is hard. Unless you’re exceptionally fortunate with a privileged life, you’re definitely going to suffer eventually. If you can face the truth and accept the life for what it is, you can probably find  a way to keep on keeping on. But if you start believing that you’re cursed, then sorry honey, nothing is ever going to be fixed; and not because of a curse, but because you’re preventing it.


A wise man once said,
“Those who want to live, let them fight; and those who do not want to fight in this world of eternal struggle, do not deserve to live.”

The second part could be a little harsh but the first one still holds its grounds.

Most part of my life, if I walk into a room with 5 people, 2 of them would be going through the exact same dilemma as you just described; where a person thinks they are cursed. Believe me, you’re not. You don’t even know what a curse is. If you did, you would know better what it actually means when you say “my soul is cursed”.
Do you even know what happens when someone curses your soul? Your mind and body gets disconnected, your entire conscious gets disoriented, you’re hysterically in a state where you don’t even remember how to breath. If someone cursed your soul, you won’t stay alive for more than a week, and what comes after death is something your mind can not even fathom.

A lot of people don’t want to admit it, because of either denial or some issue with their self image, but deep down countless people feels like they are cursed. Even the most stubborn souls who are stone cold as a rock, when you get them to open up, they would tell you that they feel cursed (at some or else most part of their lives).

Now someone is either gonna fight through that feeling everyday and eventually gonna realize that it’s just a part of everyone’s life and hence accept the bitter truth and finally start living their lives; or else someone can just keep whining everyday and blame some cursed life or “cursed soul” and stay that way forever.

The only problem in your life is in your head, created by you. You’re responsible for your own actions. Every good and bad thing that comes along with it, it’s just a part of the life. There is no magical curse putting you down. And no your soul is not cursed. You’re just another teenager who is having a hard time accept life for what it is.

Believe me I know, because I have cursed souls before and I know what happens when a soul is cursed. And this whole thing, is not even close.

Every problem and every solution in your life, starts with you and ends with you. You’re not dark, you’re not cursed, you’re not misfortunate, you’re not some special individual who is subjected to the cruel brutality of this life; you’re just you. Only way to break your so called made-up “curse” is to start controlling your thoughts. It’s all about human mind.

The key lies above your heads; whether you want to live, break your “curse”, or for anyone who wants to rise above, it all starts at controlling your own mind. So stop blaming curses; curses can do more damage than you can imagine.

And in case you’re wondering how I knew about you and the way how you feel; well guess what? I didn’t. I bluffed. It’s more like a psychological delusion that everyone believes in. Ask these 10 questions to a group of random people who are feeling down in their life and they will tell you the exact same thing. It’s a self defense mechanism of mortal mind. Not even close to a curse.


And I say my words with such a conviction because I’ve been professionally trained on dealing with emotionally fucked up immortals. Mortal life is not as complicated as you believe to think.



You can’t be helped, if you don’t want to be.



Lool and u think I'm a teenager who's mind is fucked up? Well Guess what.. I feel all this shit since I was a kid.
I always felt empty.
I tried therapy nd stuff but nothing worked.

And well about putting up a fight.. at this point I'm drained. I'm so tired but still I'm Trying my best to fight my Demons.
I can't perish. Not now.
But you said other teenagers will agree with you and.. you know I have lots of friends nd none of em is like me.
Sometimes I envy them tbh.

And Maybe you're right. Maybe it's all inside my head but you know.. I've attended therapy sessions and nothing worked so I don't know.

Sent from Topic'it App

Therapy might help one's mentality, but it does nothing to address the real cause of the problem, which is on the more sublime chakra/energetic part of oneself. Such can be treated either with Chinese medicine or Ayurveda (count with months for effectivity here along with lifestyle changes though) along with spiritual healing with chakra opening/empowering and also working with the runes like wunjo/ansuz.

Also offering my personal experience, drugs really put one down. I successfully quit them after an overdosing accident over a year ago and I can say that I feel much better without them and following a healthy lifestyle and just redoing chakra openings.


Stop complaining. Sam is right. So many (too many) people have mental illness and shit lives. You are not special in that aspect. The sooner you learn that, the better off you'll be. You'll be able to obtain greatness if you just stop making excuses and blaming everything that you deem "wrong and bad" in your life.

Man up, get your shit together and show everyone what you can do.

Period.

I mean no offense but being blunt bc I have finally realized that and I'm not a teenager and have wasted a lot time.

Blessed be.
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Vampire Soul Otho

Vampire Soul Otho

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PostSubject: Re: Why do you want to be a Vampire?   Why do you want to be a Vampire? Icon_minitimeSat Jun 15, 2019 4:54 pm

Sadhna Sharma* wrote:
Dude I feel you. I mean I know how this depression thing works but first you have to be sure if there is something wrong with your mind or your Soul.

Maybe things will get better for you if you'll become a vampire but if it's your soul.. Well then you are doomed for eternity.

It's been months since I've opened this forum bcuz I disappeared too. You know at some point you feel so drained and all you wanna do is to run away or die. So that's when you decide to "disappear" and head your wounded nd rottening soul.

Sent from Topic'it App

hi Sadhna  ,  i'm sorry that it took  so long to reply, i only now seen the message.

  Thank You for what You said.    Seems You and i are in the same understanding in life.  

Anyhow thank You Sadhna for your reply,  though the emotions we are going through , having a Vampire soul, yet not a Vampire body yet,   is definitely a depressing feeling. Sometimes it helps to know one is not the only one going through the same thoughts/emotions/understandings.

i tend to isolate myself much of the time.    so when i am quiet,  or when i take time to get back here,  please do not take it negatively .  

Though i notice that You are like that as well.     We definitely are alike in many ways it seems.  

 Thank You again for what You said.   Peace.
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